OneBot Paparazzi
by Sminny-Wew
Summary: TFA, post-Endgame, OC-free. She was a pop idol who was used to having thousands of crazy, obsessive fans. But this one mech...he's no ordinary fan.


**A/N: I've read some fics with the weirdest couples ever thought up. I challenge the people who think those couples up with this Christmas-themed one-shot. Enjoy!**

**All characters © Hasbro**

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One-Bot Paparazzi

She was used to this kind of thing. After all, she was a pop star; the very first on Cybertron. When bots (and sometimes cons) asked for her data signature, she'd give it to them. When camera-bots wanted a picture, she'd pose as though she were Madonna. When asked to be interviewed, she'd accept the offer.

So why did it feel uncomfortable?

When Rosanna came to Earth to perform, she expected it to be like all of her other concerts. After that, this big green lug began to follow her around. She dismissed him as being what the techno-organic Sari called "another harmless fan boy." But he seemed to be more than that. One day, she'd found a slightly crumpled papier-mâché rose in a clay pot on her ship. Then, on the very day that the humans referred to as "her birthday," she had received a card with hearts on it, wishing her a "Happy Construction Date Celebration." And after that, she'd been given a pink paper heart that opened up like a pop-up book to show two Earth creatures called rabbits kissing.

Rosanna didn't understand. None of her fans, or anyone in particular, had ever given her such gifts. It wasn't that they didn't care, it just never happened.

She pictured the rose in her processor. She'd been so shocked to find it that she hadn't taken the time to admire its craftsmanship. It was fragile, but not as much as a real flower. The petals were painted pink, like her armor, and the leaf and stem were green like him. Rosanna had to admit, it was quite beautiful. Maybe she was saying that because it was pink, her favorite color.

Then there was the card. It was slightly crumpled (she remembered that the guy had square claws for fingers) but held its golden message strong and true. On Cybertron, you never celebrated the day you were protoformed. It was different if you went offline, though, but she was still alive. That's what made it weird.

And finally, there was the pop-up. It had been given to her by the green mech on an Earth holiday known as "Valentine's Day" and it involved two fluffy Earth bunnies kissing. Rosanna growled. It didn't add up! What was this mech trying to do?

Wait…oh no…it couldn't have been…but the evidence was starting to make sense…

Did he have a crush on her?!

...Well now she understood why he said he wanted to meet with her in the park. But…then again, he may just want to tell her he was being nice. It couldn't have been love.

Finally, after 15 cycles of waiting, a big green SWAT vehicle arrived and transformed into the big green lug who called himself Bulkhead.

"Uh…hey, Rosanna…" he said nervously with a clawed servo on his neck. He was holding something behind him.

"Alright," Rosanna sighed. "Let's get this over with. What did you want to tell me?"

A pink blush crept along the mech's faceplate. "Well…I thought since it's Christmas…and everyone gives someone a gift on Christmas…I, uh…I just wanted to…uh…"

Rosanna SO didn't have the time for this. Right now, she could be getting her armor polished or singing Earth karaoke.

"Well?"

The next thing she knew, a pink box with a green ribbon was inches from her faceplate. She looked at the mech confusedly.

"It's for you," he faltered. "On Earth…people give…people they care about…gifts."

Hesitantly, Rosanna accepted the box. She carefully tore off the ribbon and wrapping paper, revealing the brown box for what it was. When she opened it, her spark stopped for a split nanoklik.

Inside were at least a dozen, glowing energon drops.

Rosanna knew what this meant. On Cybertron, a mech giving a femme an energon drop was a surefire sign of love. It was like when a human male gave a human female a box of chocolates.

"…" She wanted to say something, but no sound would come out of her voice box.

"If you don't want them, I understand…" Bulkhead began before trailing off.

"No one's ever given me a single energon drop, let alone a whole box" Rosanna whispered partly to herself. "Not even a fan."

"I figured you'd like the sweet ones because you're…well…sweet."

Rosanna was at a loss for words. She just stepped closer to Bulkhead.

"So…you really love me?" she asked.

Bulkhead nodded.

Rosanna just couldn't believe what she was seeing. It all had to be a big, well thought-out prank.

"Prove it."

Bulkhead's blush grew redder.

"If you don't prove it, I'll just assume it was all a big prank and walk away."

Bulkhead then nervously pulled Rosanna closer and leaned in. As their olfactory sensors made contact, Rosanna realized something. He really, truly was in love with her. She could tell that he wasn't faking this. She briefly lost her grip on reality as certain things raced through her processor.

The rose.

The card.

The pop-up.

The energon drops.

Bulkhead: her one-bot paparazzi.

Then, the kiss ended. Bulkhead was left with a red faceplate and Rosanna was left stumbling on her stabilizing servos. After regaining her balance, she placed her servos on her skirt-like hips and looked Bulkhead straight in the optic.

"Okay, buddy, let's get something straight—do you know who I am?"

"Sure I do. You're Rosanna."

"That's not what I meant. I'll ask you again: Do you know who I am?"

No response.

"I'm a self-taught singing idol living a luxurious lifestyle. And you…you're an overgrown mudflap."

Bulkhead looked away dejectedly. "I understand. I'll go now."

"Wait," Rosanna said, grabbing his servo. "You didn't let me finish. You're an overgrown mudflap…but hey, you're _my_ overgrown mudflap."

Bulkhead was unexpectedly pulled in for another smooch.

Meanwhile, watching from a nearby rooftop, Bumblebee was cheering like crazy. Sari was also there, smiling widely.

"I knew the big guy could do it!" Bumblebee exclaimed, continuing his little victory dance.

"I gotta admit," said Sari, "I never thought Bulkhead would be able to win her over. She seemed like a snobby brat. Then again, looks are deceiving."

"Who knew a simple thing could make someone love you?" Bumblebee asked no one in particular.

"Oh, _Bumblebee_," Sari called in sing-song.

He turned around to see that his techno-organic girlfriend was holding mistletoe. He grinned; he knew very well what that meant.

"Come here," he said. He and Sari laughed as they had their own little moment of love.

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A/N: Thanks for reading! R & r! ^_^


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